You were there in the turnstiles With the wind at your heels You stretched for the stars And you know how it feels - The Whole of The Moon - The Waterboys

We all have a song, our song.  This is my song. It makes me smile and it makes me cry and the words are so dear to my heart for numerous reasons.  Mike Scott, who wrote the song, apparently wrote it because he wanted to acknowledge those people who had inspired him or who had touched his life in someway.  I guess, therefore, it is ironic that I have chosen this song, my song as the last song for this blog.

I started writing when I went to Australia and then when I moved to London, some of you asked if I would blog. I decided, that even though I have never really felt comfortable writing about myself, I would do so that in case, just in case, one day my daughter would want to read about my life and fill in the gaps.

During this time many of you have left me and I know the only people I will hear about this decision are Ian and Sarah - thank you. This will be my 7th Christmas on my own and whilst that is not fine, I feel differently about the whole thing this year. I have my Christmas back and even have a tree this year. I will not be blogging again. It has been quite an easy decision really. During this time I have had friends who have found themselves single, then in a relationship, then pregnant.  I have friends who were single and are now in a full time relationship.  I have other friends who have left their partners and moved on. I have friends who have died. I have friends who have moved away and started a new life the other side of the world.  I have friends who have and continue to, fight illness and I have friends who I thought were friends yet never hear from again.  Life moves on. I need to move on. Not sure where I am going, but hey, I haven't felt grounded or safe anywhere since 2011. So nothing new.

I am sure if anyone wants to keep in touch with me or find me you can do so. We live in an instantaneous world. If Megan wants to find me, she will. She is bright, of course she is she is my daughter. However, until we all meet again, and I have to believe that I will meet Megan again because if I did not there would be no point in continuing day in day out, I wish you all that you wish for yourself. I wish you good health, much happiness, laughter and above all else I wish you love.

Thank you for walking part of this journey with me.

As always, with my love x

I pictured a rainbow
You held it in your hands
I had flashes
But you saw the plan
I wandered out in the world for years
While you just stayed in your room
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon
The whole of the moon

Hmm, you were there in the turnstiles, with the wind at your heels
You stretched for the stars and you know how it feels to reach too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon
I was grounded
While you filled the skies
I was dumbfounded by truth
You cut through lies
I saw the rain dirty valley
You saw Brigadoon
I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon

I spoke about wings
You just flew
I wondered, I guessed and I tried
You just knew
I sighed
But you swooned, I saw the crescent
You saw the whole of the moon
The whole of the moon

(The whole of the moond) with a torch in your pocket and the wind at your heels
You climbed on the ladder and you know how it feels to get too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon
The whole of the moon, hey yeah!

Unicorns and cannonballs, palaces and piers
Trumpets, towers and tenements
Wide oceans full of tears
Flags, rags ferryboats
Scimitars and scarves
Every precious dream and vision
Underneath the stars, yes, you climbed on the ladder
With the wind in your sails
You came like a comet
Blazing your trail too high
Too far
Too soon
You saw the whole of the moon