Street where the riches of ages are stowed. Anything and everything a chap can unload Is sold off the barrow in Portobello Road. You’ll find what you want in the Portobello road (Portobello Road - Bedknobs and Broomsticks)

I remember being taken to the ABC cinema in Gravesend by my dear old Nanny Welch to see this film.  She always used to take me and my brother to the cinema and I guess this film, along with many more, hold fond memories.  I had to use this song today as that is where I ended up this weekend.

Saturday:  I have had a lovely day today. I met my dear friend Kim and her beautiful daughter Hazel at Euston station.  How many people do I always meet at Euston?  I know Kim from my job in 'the library' and we have kept in contact ever since.  We only used to work one day a week but have become dear friends. Kim and Hazel come into London today to spend the day with me.  How lucky am I.

We made our way up to Portobello Road.  This has been on my list of places to visit since arriving in London.  I rarely travel west so today was a good excuse. We looked around and Hazel treated herself to a beautiful dress which I too would have had if only they had it in my size.  We all chatted and laughed our way around the market, looking at all the 'stuff' on sale.  We then got back on the tube and made our way up to Oxford Circus and called into Liberty's.  Oh I like this store.  I think before we had even got to the third floor we had spent £3000 in our head.  Hazel saw some 'interesting' shoes for £650; whilst Kim liked the £5 bar of soap!  So funny. We were ladies who browsed and wished and left disappointed.

I had booked a table at Dishoom near to Carnaby Street so off we trotted.  We had a lovely Indian mean.  In fact, I have never had anything bad there as the food is so flavoured and a really amazing treat for your taste buds.  We just spent time chatting and laughing and putting the world to rights.  As you do. We had time to spare and just went for a walk along Oxford Street and it was soon time for us to say our goodbyes.  As always, all good things have to come to an end.  We did our hugs and goodbyes at Oxford Street and they went north and I, as always, went south.  I really had such a lovely day. It was just what I needed and if I needed anymore proof that this was the case, I went to bed at 9.30pm and did not even see the start of the news and awoke at 9.30am. Thank you so much Kim and Hazel for such a great day and we shall do it again soon and I will travel up to Birmingham to meet you.




Sunday:  Lazy Sunday.  My new 'drug' regime seems to be working (fingers crossed).  Caught up with Andy and he then went out for the day.  I was in two minds what to do, but we now have Amazon Prime and the fact that I was still sleepy I decided to give myself a relaxing day.  I left my phone in my bedroom so I was not distracted and then started to watch The Man in the High Castle. This is a theme for me at the moment.  The book I am reading is about if the Nazis had won the war and this TV series is the same.  Terrifying. The USA is run half by the Nazis and half by the Japanese.  So scary to think what could have happened.  It was quite nice to have the flat to myself to be honest. So a really lazy day.  But that's the way it goes.  At least I am feeling better, thank goodness.

As always, with my love x

So how can you tell me that you're lonely And say for you that the sun don't shine Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London I'll show you something to make you change your mind (Streets of London - Ralph McTell)

I chose this track deliberately this week as it kind of reflects how fragile we all are.  It is about homelessness and this is always apparent in London even though this song is now donkeys years old; nothing has changed.  I could not give to every person I see sleeping on the streets in London, I would be penniless.  But I am always aware that it could easily be me.  If I did not work because, say I fell ill, and I did not earn I would have nowhere to live, no where to go. It sounds dramatic but unfortunately it is fact. We are all so fragile. This song has always moved me. I remember when I first started to work in London when I was 18 I used to walk pass the Embankment Gardens that run the back of The Savoy.  Most morning I saw an elderly woman, sitting in the park, obviously homeless. Beside her were all her possessions packed tightly into two, old, dirty bags. The bags were from the Savoy Taylor's Guild and Fortnum and Mason.  Two of the most expensive shops in London.  Life can be very cruel. I guess that woman made an impression on me as here we are some forty years later, I hear this song and think of her.  What a story she could have told me if I had only taken the time.

Monday:  Stressful meeting, which I was dreading, resulted in a curve ball that totally knocked me off my feet. Back home and my friend Sarah arrived.  She had travelled back from Australia.  We caught up, she showered, I cooked, we ate then we had to go on a mission. Details of which I will not go into on here but needless to say 20 years of casework and fighting the cause for others I think, paid off. Sarah left and I had a quick catch up with Andy about today's events and then it was bedtime.  I am sleeping better at the moment but it is light early now so I am doing that thing that I have always done even as a kid, waking up early. 

Tuesday:  Busy and interesting day at work and then met an old work colleague for a coffee and a good old catch up. It was lovely to see her and we certainly had plenty to talk about and we did have a good laugh. I do miss female company but like most things, people just disappear.

Wednesday:  Urgent trip to the GP this morning; this was not planned.  Same issues as last year, much to my annoyance and resulting in the same mediation.

I am not happy with this but really do not have an alternative.  I was asleep by 8.30pm, totally exhausted and feeling rather crap to be honest.  If January and February are going to be 'difficult' months for me then I will be 'ill' in March and April, I really am thinking just packing a back and disappearing.  I wonder how long it would take for certain people to notice I have gone.  Needless to say, I am certainly not holding my breath.

Thursday:  Working from home today and was going to give myself a stress free day.  This did not happen and I ended up finishing work at 18.00!  I am off for a few days now and wanted to get things sorted before hand, but ended up having horrendous IT issues that resulted me calling the IT Help Desk three

times. I mean, really?  Talk about being tested.

Finally, time to kick back and chill.  I am looking forward to having a few days off to be honest, even though I do not have much planned.

Friday:  I did not sleep well last night, no surprises there then and was up by normal time this morning.  Why does that happen? So up and out for 12 to have my pedicure.  It was OK but not my normal woman who does it and if I did not know any better I would say she no longer works there, which leaves me with a dilemma as she was lovely. Food shopping done (again), it really is a continuous and pointless pursuit.  

Quiet afternoon but all good.  Andy and I must have fits of laughter at least ten times a day.  Tonight was no different.  The pair of us are terrible at times. Had a lovely catch up with my friend Ian via FB messenger. The pair of us trying to put the world to rights, as you do. Obviously, it is still work in progress, but hey ho that is the way it goes.

As always, with my love x

You go down, down Pass the talk of town You go down Greek street Then its underground Well it's Soho life For this mobile knife It's the place to shoot Friday night beat route (I Don;t Need This Pressure On - Spandau Ballet)

The good thing about not having one particular artist this month means I have to be a bit more creative.  I had forgotten about this song but soon remembered how much I love it.  It talks about Soho, one of my favourite places in London. In fact I have been there today.  So as always, enjoy.

Saturday:  So we all had plans today, together, which was really nice as I do feel part of this lovely family.  We got up and out we went to Dishoom in Covent Garden.  Oh how I love this restaurant.  It is an Indian restaurant but not like anything you have tasted before.  We were having brunch and what a treat it was too. I had eggs with a spicy toast and countless cups of chai. It was so lovely and this is one of my favourite places to eat and it is so reasonable too.  I have been to the King's Cross and Shoreditch one and now the Covent Garden one.  What a treat.

How I feel most days!

We then made our way up to the British Museum.  It always reminds me when I go here how much 'stuff' we have nicked from other countries and we still have it!  It is no wonder no one really ever liked the British.  That aside, I found some really random 'stuff' that made me smile.  The museum is in one of my favourite ever parts of London: Bloomsbury.  If I won the lottery, apart from there not being enough, I would buy something here.  It is such a delightful part of London. So we mooched around the museum for a few hours, me taking random photos of weird stuff.

Looks like me feet

After all the culture and excitement it was time to do a new experience.  You are never too old to try things and you know me, I will give most things a go. So today I did and Escape Room.  Some of you may not know what this is, so I will explain.  Basically, it is like the Crystal Maze. You are locked in a room for an hour and you have to solve all the clues to get out.  Now many of you will know me and this is not my usual kind of thing, as I mutter 'what's the point'. But I have to say it was brilliant.  It took place in a basement in Oxford Street and was a Leonardo de Vinci theme.  Even if I say so myself, I did alright.  Andy and Zoe have done loads of them between them, so I was the newbie but I surprised myself.  The girl did good and we got out of the room with 3 minutes 20 seconds to spare.  Go us.

Quick nip into Boots for some stuff and then on the bus home.  I spent time listening to my new music - Marc Almond's Greatest Hits, which is brilliant and Andy and Zoe played a board game.  This then resulted in me, once again, playing a board game with them.  Needless to say, I did not stand a chance and did not win.  But it was good fun and I have had a lovely Saturday.

Sunday:  Lazy Sunday today.  I had no intention of doing much.  The weather is grey; Andy still has Zoe here and has invited a few friends over to ......... play board games, so I decided I would catch up on some chores in my room and have a relaxing day.  It does not hurt as I have had a busy few days.  

So it all started off well.  I watched Hunt of the Wilderpeople. A delightful, funny, emotional film from New Zealand. I wanted to go and see it when it come out because I had read good things about it.  Needless to say the time went and I never got to see it.  It is a sweet, wonderful film and would recommend it.  The problem about spending time, alone, in my room means I have more time to think and when I think I have more time to beat myself up.  Today was no exception. Today I emailed my daughter.  I am not going into how I found her email address or any other details, that is not relevant. I emailed her. I typed it and before I had time to think, change my mind, reflect or reconsider I did that thing that we all do, hit the button.  There is nothing I can do about it now. How do I feel? Sad. Alone. Bereaved. Thinking what a complete waste of time this whole experience has been.  We should be together. Enjoying our lives together. But we are not and yet still the sands of time keep falling through the hour glass. Days into weeks. Weeks into months. Months into years.  It will be five years this September since I last saw her.  I can still remember the last thing I said to her; yet still every night, before I go to sleep, I tell her how much I love her.  Why does life have to be cruel?

As always, with my love X

I never thought it would happen With me and the girl from Clapham Out on the windy common That night I ain't forgotten When she dealt out the rations With some or other passions I said "you are a lady" "Perhaps" she said. "I may be" (Up The Junction - Squeeze)

I have always liked Squeeze.  In fact, they will probably have a month of their own sometime in the future.  Just a group of South East London blokes from Deptford, just down the road from me.  I will not go on about them as a group now, but I always remember when I was in exile in the North, if I heard a song by Squeeze it just 'reminded me of home'.  They sung about real life, the stuff that really happens and this track is no exception.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Spent the day running around south London like a loon.  A long, long day.  That is what happens when you have a day off!  Quiet evening as a compensation but all good.  Well kind of.

Tuesday:  In the office today for a meeting so yet another busy, but productive day.  I decided to walk home as the weather was beautiful.  I noticed all the spring flowers coming into bloom at the Imperial War Museum.  Spring is making her way.  Obligatory trip to said new supermarket and back home to make a veggie chilli.  No art class.  I am out of my league there and need to find one that will teach me, however, goodness knows how much that will cost. This is the disadvantage of living in London.  So much to do and such little time oh and money!

Wednesday:  Long day today as working until 10.00am.  I still find it magical as I am walking to the bus stop with Big Ben looking down on me.  Andy's sister Zoe arrived this evening, she is staying for a few days.  We had a quick chat then I was so tired. Not the most exciting of days but at least Spring is still on her way.

Thursday:  Working from home today, so comfortable clothes and no hair wash. Bliss.  Unless anyone wants to Skype with me.  Andy and Zoe went out early as Zoe had to complete some errands, hence her trip to London.  So exciting times tonight as we all wen to the theatre, our local Southwark Playhouse.  

I have never seen a play I did not like here and tonight, once again, was no exception.  The play was The Diary of a Teenage Girl.  It is about the sexual awakening and teenage years of a 15 year old and was set when I was 15! So the music was so familiar.  The acting was wonderful and you could see the lead, Minnie, age because of the stress of the situation she had go herself in, right in front of your eyes. It was absolutely brilliant and would really recommend it.  I am so lucky to have this theatre right on my doorstep.

Friday:  Busy day today.  Andy and Zoe went to Go Ape (good luck with that) and I went to work, touring the delights of South East London.  I started off in Camberwell and then took the bus to Peckham.  I have to laugh every time I go to Peckham as it reminds me of Only Fools and Horses as this is where it was set; even though it was not filmed there.  I always used to say when I was in exile in the north, that the south is always sunny and we have palm trees, swimming pools and Porsches.  Today, I found palm trees in Peckham and I did have to smile. Of all the places to find them.  I think if you use your imagination well you can image you are in the Canary Isles.

Productive day work wise, all well.  Back home Andy and Zoe were tired after throwing themselves around like a couple of idiots.  I wanted to go dancing as I had heard the wonderful Marc Almond on Spotify and wanted to go dancing.  Talk about youth wasted on the young.  We ended up ordering pizza and watching Young Frankenstein on Netflix.  I have not seen this film for years and had forgotten how funny it was.  It was what I needed, a jolly good laugh.  Mel Brookes is a genius.  The scene where Dr Frankenstein and the monster are dancing to Putting on the Ritz is one of the funniest things ever.  It has been a good couple of days.

As always, with my love x

I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain He was looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein (Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon)

Nothing original about this choice, but you will all know it. It refers to Soho, one of my favourite parts of town and refers to my home county of Kent so a double win. So as always, enjoy.

Saturday:  My life does not feel very exciting at the moment.  It is partially my fault as I really do not have the energy coupled with the fact, that when I do what to do something, I have to end up doing it on my own as I have no one else to do it with!  Things would have been the same if I had stayed in Stoke. The only difference being not only would I have had no one to do anything with, there would have been absolutely nothing to do!

Lazy morning and then the highlight of my day was a trip to the supermarket, on the bus.  The busses in London are a sight to behold. You see the world and it's wife travelling on them.  Needless to say, I was no different on the way home, carrying my obligatory two bags of shopping.  Taking the bus in London really should be an Olympic sport. Fortunately, we both managed to get a seat, along with our four bags of shopping.  Back home and a quiet afternoon.  Andy went out and I stayed in, spending the night looking a 'stuff' I did not want or could not afford, on the internet. Then Match of the Day and me falling a sleep. What a wild thing I am.

Sunday:  No Trews, I am still not feeling the love. It is a shame as I do miss it, but with fewer and fewer people going, the cafe serving meat and not just

vegan or vegetarian food, it no longer has the draw it once did. It is a shame, but there you go.  Tidied up the rest of the flat and then Andy thought all his Christmases had come at once.  I said to him that I was happy to sit a play a board game or two with him.  This is what he does.  However, I did stipulate that I did not want any vampires, aliens, sci-fi shit or genies! So that narrowed it down a bit.  That aside we played:  Ticket to Ride which I did like as it was building railways all across Europe.  I guess it fed into my love of travelling. We then played a Japanese game called Machi Koro which had stupid rules. Basically, you did not have to pay your debts if you had them, you could carry on and win the game!  I kicked up merry hell, much to Andy's amusement. We finished by playing a DC super hero thing game called DC Deck Builder.  Which, I surprisingly enjoyed. I could justify spending an afternoon of my life doing this as it was chucking down with rain on and off all day.  It was fun and I enjoyed it.  However, I will not be making a habit of it.

He does have another game called Werewolf which we did not play.  I have played it before and never understood what I was doing but won!  How cool was that.  Anyway, that little knowledge fits in nicely with the title of this weekend's blog.

As always, with my love x

London calling to the faraway towns Now war is declared, and battle come down London calling to the underworld Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls London calling, now don't look to us Phoney Beatlemania has bitten the dust London calling, see we ain't got no swing 'Cept for the ring of that truncheon thing (London Calling - The Clash)

I thought I would do something different this month (because I can) and feature songs that mention London, places in London or references to London in their titles or lyrics.  It is because I heard two tracks on the radio on Monday morning (those two to come later) and thought, yes that is a good idea.  I would have been in London two years next month.  Just as I expected, where people said, Oh I will come and see you, I will be down, I will keep in touch - they haven't and have been slowly dropping off the radar.  I expected this as it happened when I moved north, so I had no reason to expect it to be different the other way.  People have busy lives, but a phone rings both ways, a text message can be replied too, along with an email. I keep in touch by blogging, if people can't be arsed or have time to read it, what more can I do. London has given me a life back.  I am never alone, I have Andy (thank goodness) but I think that is why a lot people don't bother now as I am not any longer their problem and all is well.  Oh how wrong you can all be.

So on that note, a bit of good old punk to start the month off. As always, enjoy.

Monday:  So what happened there then? It is Monday morning again! Crazy. 'Normal' busy day running around London like a loon, then working in the evening. But all good.  I got home around 9.30pm, caught up with Andy and then went to bed. My life is so exciting. Do you realise how time consuming it is trying to save the world!

Tuesday:  In the office all day today with my peers, but it was enjoyable and productive. Made my way up to Hoxton for my art class. You have to give me ten out of ten for giving things ago.  We had a male model tonight, I guess around 'my age'. I found it quite difficult this evening, but the time just flew by. I got chatting to a bloke (this is the first time this has happened here as most people just speak to the person them come with, others read their books and others are just there for the art darlings). He was great and totally got it. I told him this was on my bucket list and he said 'so did you think just fuck it, I am going to do it!'  My kind of person. My friend Sarah said our tribe is out there somewhere, I just need to find them.  This guy was only young which just proves I get on much better with younger people as most of them just get it and they think someone 'my age' is cool. We had a good chat and a laugh, but my artwork was crap.

Back home, via the obligatory trip to the supermarket for some food and once again a quick catch up with Andy then off to bed I went.

Wednesday:  This morning I had 22 Things to Do on my work list!!!! And two of them were going to take two hours each - sigh.  I worked so hard to day and got the majority of it done and a big dent in the other. Time to kick back, reply to outstanding emails and pay bills.  

Thursday:  I was facilitating training again today so put one of my dresses on but also my new trainers to walk to the bus stop.  This happens in London.  You will see women walking to work all dressed up then look down and they are wearing trainers. It is the 'norm'. As I was walking to the bus stop the film '9 to 5' come into my head, when Dolly was doing the same as me, walking to work, albeit in New York, but in her trainers.  I smiled because of the words and then, as if by magic, the song come on the radio.  See I told you it is the physic radio for me.

Good day working with some great colleagues. Back home and another quiet night.  It is ok. I am not feeling the love at the moment, but enjoying my book.

Friday:  No work today!  I had TOIL.  So lazy start to the morning the did some chores and had to go to the GP then walked down to the bigger library near to me where there is a coffee shop (of course there is) in it. Two new books and a cup of coffee and all is well.  Grabbed the one bag of obligatory shopping and back home to finish my chores.

Treated myself to a lovely soak in the bath (Andy is out to night) with said book. Not exactly rock and roll, but hey it is all feeling a lot better.

As always, with my love x

Ah, oh your hair is beautiful Ah, tonight Atomic Tonight make it magnificent Tonight Make me tonight (Atomic - Blondie)

I saw Blondie years and years ago in concert and I swear she has not aged. She is my kind of person (see end of this blog). Anyway, here you go, enjoy.

Saturday:  Today is Andy's 30th Birthday which means he is officially older than myself.  He did not know what he wanted for his birthday, so I gave him a Terry's chocolate orange and a personalised card with Thor on it. He will tell me when he has seen something he would like me to buy. I put a few banners saying Birthday Boy!  I could not even prepare a breakfast for him as he was meeting his friends before his Meet Up for brunch. But all is well, it is his day. I had decorated the flat with some Birthday Boy banners for him.

I took myself of to Brixton for a mooch around. I do quite like it over there if I am honest. I found the memorial to David Bowie. I wanted to go and see it and I must admit I felt a tad sad.  Such a waste of talent.  I then made my way up to Piccadilly as I wanted to get something from Fortnum and Mason's.  I do like it in there and once again I should have been born in the Victorian/Edwardian days.  Purchases in the bag, literally. I made my way home.

Quiet night, home alone. Played scrabble on my phone, read my book and watched Planet of the Apes.  Sigh.

Sunday:  I am really missing my Sunday morning meditation group. However, I am just not feeling the love for it.  Russel Brand no longer has a say on the Trews Cafe and it is being managed by a rehabilitation charity who is now running it for profit, so they now cook with meat.  This never happened. Also, many of the people who went to meditate no longer go and it means there are about four of us.  So I have not been going.  No point.  So today I booked myself into another new Meet Up group.  This one was urban social walks around London.  I cannot tell you how much effort it takes to do this.  I have a voice in my head that says 'what is the point'; then another voice says 'go on nothing happens unless you make it happen'.  So I got myself on a bus and made my way up to one of my favourite parts of London - Bloomsbury.  En route I come across this amazing shop that sells sticks and umbrellas. It as just like walking back in time. Magical.

Senate House - Very Art Deco

The problem with me, well one of the many problems, is I do not sit in a box.  I am a woman of a certain age but do not stereotypically act my age!  Thank goodness.  However, because I act younger does not necessary mean that you can meet up with younger people as they do not want older people in their group.  Today was one of those days.  The group was made up of about 12 people all 'my age' with one foot in the grave or no personality or nothing that interested me.  I am not being cruel, it may sound like I am, but I have to talk to people some days who I really do not have anything in common with as this is my job and that is fine.  However, it does not mean I want to be doing it all weekend.  There were a couple of people from the suburbs and I am so London now so when I am being asked/interrogated where do you come from, where do you work etc and I know I have nothing at all in common with these people, I shut up. Yes it can be done and I did it this afternoon.  The walk was interesting but not because of the guide/organiser who had obviously downloaded a few notes off the computer and thought this would do.  Me being me, could not stop herself and when we were standing in Russell Square and he said this is Bedford Square I had to correct him.  I know, I know but hey that is me.  Needless to say I could not wait for it to be over. I will go back around this walk again, on my own, and take it in more. But hey, I will not be going again.

Back home and and I had my Fortnum and Mason's pie for for my dinner and then attempted some drawing.  Yes I am still crap.  So it has not been a bad weekend. But I really do need to find my tribe.   I enjoy the company of like-minded people, people with some life in them, who do not take things too seriously. Just because I am in my 50s does not mean I am ready to retire, I never will be able to anyway, if I do not work, I do not live.  It is that simple. Just because I am in my 50s does not mean I have one foot in the grave. I have more energy now than I have every have. But where do I go to meet up with like minded souls.  It is very difficult.

As always, with my love X