Well, I'm just a modern guy Of course, I've had it in the ear before 'Cause of a lust for life 'Cause of a lust for life (Lust for Life - Iggy Pop)

Trainspotting.  I never got to see the original at the cinema. Meg was two years old.  When I finally got to see the film a few years later, I fell totally in love with it's energy and the message it was sending.  Now Trainspotting 2 is out in the cinema and this time I will go to see it.  So here we are.

Choose Life.

Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself.

Yep I chose that life and look how well it turned out for me ...........

Saturday:  Ewan McGregor has been raised to a God like status in my eye for refusing to sit anywhere near that dick Piers Morgan.  So a slow start to my Saturday. Then I was off. Cleaning, washing, ironing and shopping.  I cannot get the songs from La La Land out of my head and at one point said to Andy that we should just start dancing around our very dated shopping centre as if we were in LA.  We didn't.  However, I did have a fit of giggles in Superdrug as I was looking for some bubble baths stuff and one of them was called Paradise Island. I mean.  Really.  It just made me laugh, very loudly.  Before we went out I had to get on my knees and measure Andy's inner leg as he had to take some jeans to be taken up. Things you never think you would be doing.  

Whilst we were in our lovely Shopping Centre I had to go into Card Factory for a card and said to Andy I never ever want a man to buy me a Valentine's Day card or chocolates from Card Factory.  We then went past Poundland and all of a sudden, Card Factory looked up market.  No worries mind, I am not expecting (as usual) to receive anything.

Back home I kicked back with a big pot of my coffee and watched my new DVD I ordered.  Meg and I watched this series back in 2009 - Desperate Romantics as it aired on BBC2. It is a dramatisation about the Pre-raphealite Brotherhood. Beautiful. And very easy on my eye for so many reasons. They were using words such as being sweethearts and sending handwritten love letters to each other.  Well that is never going to happen in this day and age is it.

Sunday: The ultimate lazy Sunday. Another one of those days when I just could not get out of bed.  This is not good. I watched some crap on Netflix then finally showered and moved myself as I was out this evening.  I met my dear friends Hannah and Emma at the Mayflower pub for dinner.  It was so lovely to see them again as it had been ages since we last been together.  We caught up on all our news; good and not so good and laughed and cried. It was lovely. They really are such lovely people and I feel very blessed to have them in my life.

As always, with my love x

 

Time can never mend The careless whispers of a good friend To the heart and mind Ignorance is kind There's no comfort in the truth Pain is all you'll find (Careless Whisper - George Michael)

Another week.  January is flying by.  It scares me how quick the time passes. I cannot believe how old this song is either. It was released in 1984.  I was 23/24 and was still making a hash of it even then.  But old George he knew how to hit a nerve.  I love this song. When I saw him in concert he did not have to sing; the crowd just sang and sang these beautiful lyrics.   Thank you George for the memories and as always, enjoy.

Monday:  Today I awoke to a blanket of freezing fog. I looked out the window and once again, was not feeling the love.  By lunchtime I was going bonkers working in my room, on my own. I spent 18 months in my room.  This is not why I come to London.  So got the energy to get my coat on and go and work at a local café next to the University for a few hours.  It worked. As I looked around I was reminded about how many of us live in our own little silos unaware of what is going on around us. London gives me an invisible cloak to hide behind as people are far too busy just surviving themselves.  This gift can be a blessing and a curse.

Quiet night, just surviving.  This time will pass.

Tuesday:  Not the best of days to be honest. But I survived. Just. No art class tonight. I finished saving the world today and had an awful headache so just couldn't face it. So home I went.  This time will pass.

Wednesday:  Are you still with me? Have you run to the rooftops ready to throw yourself off?  Today was better.  Work done and dusted, this evening I was out with my French friend (remember him) Peppe le Phew.  We met at Tower Bridge and went to Bermondsey Street (one of my new local favourite areas).  It was so good to see him again as it had been ages.  We spent the evening speaking in our usual Franglaise catching up on our 'life' admin.  He thought it was interesting getting a different female's perspective and likewise, for me, it was good to hear a bloke's viewpoint. Ironically, well it is not really as it is me, he shares the same birthday as Jack the lad (formally known as Grayson).  Of course he does! Why are you surprised? There are only 365 days in the year.

We promised to meet up again soon and said our goodbyes doing that french kiss on the cheek thing. I did giggle as he caught me off guard and we actually had three kisses on the cheek and a hug.  He is so sweet and another person I have collected on my travels.  I caught the bus home as once again, London was so cold and I just wanted to curl up in my bed.  A better day.

Thursday: 
 I had to be in the darkest depths of South East London early this morning and once again, it was so cold. I cannot believe how cold it is.  Finally, back home and worked from home the rest of the day in the warm. My new venture arrived today.  I am trying to support local businesses and have joined a scheme where I am sent a bag of coffee each month from a local coffee distributor called Pact Coffee. They source individual coffee growers throughout the world and ensure that they receive a good price for their product. It really is fresh roasted and ground coffee and I have total control how much is sent, so I will receive a new coffee every 28 days.  Andy thinks all I need now is a beard and I will be a proper hipster. Quiet night as I have a very busy day tomorrow.

Friday:   Up early this morning. Very early and was on the 8.30am train out of King's Cross to York for work.  This is the first time I have been North since my move from my time in Stoke.  York holds memories for me, from a past life.  I used to go there quite a lot and I knew, especially under the current situation, today would be a challenge.  I was not wrong.


Did what needed to be done, work wise in York and I made my way, alone to the station. The one good thing I have learnt from this trip is that I have so many memories stored in my brain that makes some things really difficult and I now know that I will never be able to go back to Stoke for a long, long, while.  York, what I saw of it, was beautiful.  I called into Betty's (one of my favourite ever places especially with my love of afternoon tea) and treated Andy and I to a Fat Rascal each. I did smile as I went into the shop as memories of my Meg virtually 'exploding' in there when she was one year old. So funny (well not at the time) and something that I will always, if I ever could, remind her of.

I could not wait to get back to the hustle and bustle of London.  The place where I feel safe.  Made a cup of tea and sat and ate our Fat Rascals.  I swear I do not know what I would do if I did not have Andy in my life.  Went to my room and watched The Last Leg and that made me laugh.  It is getting better.

As always, with my love x

Don't you know that The years will come and go Some of us will change our lives Some of us still have nothing to show Nothing, baby But memories And if these wounds They are self-inflicted I don't really know How my poor heart could have protected me But if I have to carry this pain (Waiting For The Day - George Michael)

I was not going to blog this weekend. I am taking time out for me and just could not find the emotional energy to write anything. Then I thought it is George month and he would be able to sum it all up.  The thing is, things you thought you had dealt with, moved on from can just be brought back into your life because of the kindness of others and how you deal with it.  I am not coping with it well at the moment.  I do not like January. It is grey, it is cold and I have Megan's birthday to cope with.  If that was not enough, that day is the very last day of January. Then throw in a bit of extra crap and you have the perfect recipe for just wanting to get my new shiny passport and run away and leave all the heartache, tears, sleepless nights and anxiety.  But you don't; you stay and poor old Andy sees it all.  Warts and all.  The sad thing is, most of it could all be avoided.  So George, thank you my friend, this song sums it all up.  As always, enjoy.

Saturday:  When you think your head is hosting the whole of Battersea Dog's home the American elect that fuckwit.  Today I had to make a stand. I was anxious; I woke up anxious and was convinced that today was the day I would bump into Megan.  Today I was going to march in the Woman's March in London. Part of me wanted to see her as then I knew I would have done a good job; however, the other part of me was so anxious.  Andy had decided he was going to come with me.  He said it was only right for two reasons. Firstly, because for years I have been standing up for the gays and having my voice heard and secondly, it is because it is about equality for all.

We got to the American Embassy and it was freezing.  There were so may people there - such a selection.  It was cold but sunny and we marched and we made our point and it felt good.  I felt proud to be a woman. However, I did think that I really should not still be having to do this.  We then went to Picturehouse Central to see La La Land.  Ironically, I feel that I am living in La La Land at the moment so it seemed kind of apt that we went. It was good and I can see what all they hype is about. Its a lovely story (just what I needed to cheer me up, still it is Trainspotting 2 next week so that will shake it up a bit) and we were both pleased that we went.  I do not know what I would do without that boy, I really would't.

Sunday:  I was awake at 6.00am, why are you surprised to read that.  I went out as I needed to go out.  I did not have a clue where I was going,  I just wanted to walk. And walk I did. I walked from my flat to Bethnal Green which is about 3 miles.  It was a beautiful blue skied morning, but cold again.  I still did not know where I was going when I got there and was intending to go onto Victoria Park to read my book, but I went to the Museum of Childhood instead which was a mistake.  It was full of children; of course it was. On my way back to get a bus I noticed this memorial about a bomb raid in the Second World War. It amazes me that there is so much history around me in London. I got a coffee and then caught the bus back, stopping off to get some Japanese food for dinner.

Back home it was time to check the bank statement, which let's face it is just adding more misery so may as well go the whole hog!  Then typing up my blog which I really did not have the energy or love to do. But here it is. This time will pass and I am sure that all my creative juices, well dribble, will return.

As always, with my love x

There are things that I don't want to learn Oh the last one I had made me cry So I don't want to learn to hold you, touch you think that you're mine (One More Try - George Michael)

Another one from the Faith album.  It is funny when you look at lyrics how they can sum up your life or just be a total head fuck.  This is a beautiful, soulful song. As always, there were a couple of lines I could have chosen, but these few words kind of sun up me at the moment.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Training all day today and very good it was too.  I got talking, well she started talking to me, to a woman on the bus who was really interesting. I do not do the age thing, but if I had to I would say she was around 65-70 and she was telling me how she travels around, booking herself into Youth Hostels. She was very much a free spirit and I did have to chuckle how she had eyed me out on the bus to talk with.

So as I endeavour to eradicate all things American from my life from Friday, I invested £3 in a huge bag of Reese's as I will not be eating them for another four years!  This may be difficult. However, it also means that I will not be eating Cadbury's either.  I think my one woman protest may be rather difficult to achieve.  Still, I can but try. The rest of the evening was spent watching University Challenge, our dirty little pleasure, and looking at the contestants thinking what a dull life they may have. Some of them really do need a shake up.  Like Oscar Wilde once said 'Youth is wasted on the young' ain't that the truth.  What I would do to turn back the clock a few years, I would certainly be doing things differently.

Tuesday: Not feeling the love at the moment. I know why; many things and fighting them off but it is exhausting.  Especially when a couple of them are totally pointless and could be avoided.  Had a lovely chat with one of my friends in Stoke this evening.  We do not normally chat; just message but tonight I called him. It was so strange to hear a Stoke accent and he thought I sounded really Southern.  Funny old world.

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Art class tonight. Ironically, I was more nervous this evening than last week.  I think it was because I knew what was coming. Tonight we had a young woman as our model and she was brilliant.  She was more bendy than a pipe cleaner. So petite and perfect; I hated her, but she was great. I cannot say it was any easier but my last attempt was 100% better than last week, but let’s face it, I couldn’t get any worse could I?  I cannot tell you how relaxing it is.  It is really like a meditation.  The time just flies by.  We have a couple of 5 minutes poses, then a couple of 10-15 minutes then after our break two 15 minute poses.  There are 35 for us there, so a big class. So there I am with the luvies, the hipsters, the artists and the young.  See told you, not feeling the love.

Wednesday:  Beautiful day today.  Cold, but blue skies.  It is one of those days when you think that Spring is on her way.  However, we have February to get through first.  I worked all morning, full on and then went for a walk.  Popped in to see my Dad and to light a candle for him and for other people then to London Bridge to collect some train tickets. Stopped for a coffee and worked in the library for a bit, before making my way to the local art shop to buy some paper and pencils.  I did not spend much, just in case this time passes but I want to at least give it a go.
Back home and back to work and it really is getting light now, however this evening, once again, it is bitterly cold.  The rest of the evening went down hill rather rapidly .........
 
Thursday:  The black dog and all his friends from the kennels arrived this morning. I could not face the day. I could not leave bed. I did not go to work. I did have a conversation with a dear friend in Stoke which did help (you know who you are) but, well I will leave it there.
 
Friday:  Smile painted back on and out to save others, when all I need is for someone to hold me so tight and tell me it is all going to be ok.  I was suppose to be going for drinks this evening with friends; I did not. I went to bed.  I am feeling very anxious, very confused and very, very alone.

As always, with my love x

Baby I just want you to know I won't go through it again Yes, those clouds are closing in And I will not accept this as a part of my life I will not live in fear Of what may be And the lessons I have learned I would rather be alone than watch you Spinning that wheel for me (Spinning the Wheel - George Michael)

I remember George singing this at the 25 years concert and I also wanted to find some lyrics this week to sum up how I am feeling.  Bingo!  Unfortunately, there is not an official DVD for it, so my apologies for the quality. However, you can always Google the words and read the lyrics yourself.  As always, enjoy!

Saturday:  If January wasn't turning out to be difficult enough, I had to work today. It was so cold and grey. I waited at the station, train delayed then spent the entire day in a DIY store, right by the exit doors! Fortunately the time went quick and I made my way home via the library. I was so cold. Cold to the bone so run a bath, candles, Luther (the musician not the lovely Idris unfortunately) and a pot of coffee.  I wallowed like Free Willy trying to process the thoughts racing around in my head and more importantly to get warm.

Virgos are great communicators.  Many of you know me personally and know I can talk and keep in touch, I mean, look at this blog. We live in an instantaneous world now, where, at a flick of a button I can be talking to my friend Jackie in NZ. So when you come across someone who rarely communicates, well I guess it gives you, well me, concerns.  Not sure of the next course of action. Plenty to ponder. But I have kind of figured it out, so will cut some slack. We shall see.

Sunday:  Well the bath worked; I slept well.  Well for me that is.  I had decided today that I was not going to be doing much and that was very much what happened.  I spent the first part of the day watching Wolf Hall.  I had, previously, tried to read the book and failed and watched the BBC2 production when it come out, but could not get into it.  Today was different. I now have one more episode to watch (which I will watch this evening).  Thank goodness for Netflix.

Finally, tidied up my room and dragged myself into the lounge and we sat and watched the third Star Wars film, followed by Hangover 2.  By now, you can see how my Sunday panned out.  Hangover 2 was OK, filmed in Bangkok so I got kind of homesick again.  I guess I am feeling rather restless again at the moment. Not quite that free-falling feeling, more like, well not sure what like to be honest.  So the evening ended up with watching Sherlock (Meg and I used to like this) and then bed.  What an exciting life I lead.

As always, with my love x

Don't you know, you've got to go to the city You've got to reach the other side of the glass I think you'll make it in the city baby I think you know that you are more than just Some fucked up piece of ass (Flawless - George Michael)

Just before Christmas I was having a fashion show (as you do) with Andy as I was deciding what to wear on a date with Jack (the Lad previously known as Grayson).  I put this song on the CD player and strutted in and out of Andy's bedroom wearing numerous outfits as we both decide which one would be the most appropriate.  Flawless, absolutely flawless!  I said to Andy I had just the track to walk the catwalk with and this was it.  Happy memories.  As always, enjoy.

Monday:  Tube strike today and I had to travel to King's Cross for a meeting. I was on the bus for 90 minutes ..... sigh. Then after the meeting, the heaven's had opened.  Welcome to Monday morning.  On a brighter note I received a lovely gift today from my friend Margaret in Stoke. She sent me a love heart plaque that has some lyrics from the Luther Vandross song, Dance with my Father.  So lovely and really thoughtful.  I feel truly blessed.

Back home and a quiet night as I had a stonking headache.  I think we all need Spring to hurry up and spring.

Tuesday:  Was in the office today and went off to lunch at the lovely little coffee bar I found last week.  The one where the woman told me to be naughty. Ordered my lunch and sat at a table with a woman and got talking.  As I often do. It turns out that she was the Midlan Political Correspondent for ITV. We had a good chat about Stoke and she really was lovely. Just goes to show, something always happens when you go out.

Tonight I was often to Hoxton (again).  I do like it in the East.  So tonight I was at a new Meet Up where I was to life draw!  I emailed the organiser and told them I had no experience what so ever.  In fact, I cannot draw a breath or the curtains these days!  I was assured that it would be OK.  So off I rock, with the arty young people, the bearded hipsters and well and me.  The model was I guy probably my age.  He walked in, took his bath robe off and stood there stark naked.  We had 3 minutes to draw. So there I am with a piece of A3 paper and a pencil and did not have a clue.  I was crap.  However, pose after pose I did, only slightly get better.  In fact, on of the drawings looked like a naked bloke.  I enjoyed it.  The time went really, really quick. It was like a meditation.  So I have booked for five more classes.  I can only get better.

Wednesday:  Back over the East again tonight after work as it was my trip to the osteopath.  I have to say my back is so much better. She reviewed me and said that I am still leaning to the left and my leg is longer but this was because of my hip.  So she worked on my right hip and leg and once again, I walked out of there like a well oiled Tin Man. Amazing.  I do not have to go back for a month and then she will probably only want to see me every three months just to make sure everything stays where it should do.

Full moon tonight and a new Sainsbury's.  I have a brand new Sainsbury's just down the road.  This is like a gift from the Gods.  So tonight I went in and bought some lovely stir fry for my dinner.  I think I am going to be using said shop quite a lot. I even got excited because they had small shopping trolleys to use.  When you live in London you rarely see a shopping trolley.  Such excitement.   All I need now is a Wasabi and a Waitrose or Marks & Spencer food hall and all will be well in the world.

Thursday:  Still not feeling the love for the New Year.  I am not depressed; just feeling meh.  It did not help when I watched Rick Stein in Vietnam and then Bangkok. My heart ached, especially as today is the day that the snow arrived. Naturally not in London.  There was a little bit of sleet and it did turn cold, but not much else.  Needless to say, the country went into meltdown, like it was the end of the world.  You may not know (many of you do) I do not do snow!

Not the best ends to the evening.  However, I did managed to sleep ....... after I had hatched a plan in my head.

Friday:  Due to said plan hatched in my head, my morning took a turn in a completely different direction.  It amazes me that you can access certain departments of NHS quicker than you can your GP.

Snow arrived in London today. Not much of much to be honest. I had a busy day at King's College Hospital meeting some inspirational people. Back home, in the warm and a quiet night reflecting and reminding myself that this time, will, eventually pass.

As always, with my love x

You listened to people, Who scared you to death and from my heart, Strange that you were strong enough, To even make a start, But you'll never find Peace of mind, Til you listen to your heart (Kissing a Fool - George Michael)

I am still so sad about George and like David Bowie, cannot believe that I will never be able to hear him sing again live.  There are so many tracks I could use and to be honest, probably could blog him all year (I won't).  So this song: Kissing a Fool from Faith.  A beautiful, soulful song, the words of which have hit a nerve more than once in my life.  I still cannot believe he has gone ...... As always, enjoy. 

Saturday:  Why is it when you can be lazy and not rush out of bed you are wide awake at 6.00am?  Sigh. I finally made a drink and went back to bed.  Andy come back shorn from his early morning haircut bringing ingredients for a veggie omelette for breakfast.  Every woman needs a bloke in her life who will cook for her now and then.  Wash, dressed, fed and watered I was out.  I had a strange thought whilst waiting for the bus regarding plasters. You know, the ones you stick on when you have cut yourself.  Anyway, it was a bit of an epiphany regarding things you take for granted regarding your own ethnicity. However, I can see a niche in market and feel now that I should be on Dragon's Den with my new multi cultural first aid box.  I shall leave it there! 

I went to have my nails done again as I really enjoyed it when I went before Christmas.  I saw the same lovely Vietnamese woman but, and if any of you are eating at the moment skip the next bit, my big toe nail fell off!  It has been looking dodgy for a while and is obviously damaged.  Well today it dropped off. Such a good look. I am starting a new trend. It is not 91/2 weeks but 91/2 toe nails.  Let's face it, my feet have never been my best feature, remember llama feet? I now have bright purple nails!  Go me.

Ingredients purchased as tonight I am cooking a Thai Green Curry and spent the afternoon watching the second Star Wars Film - The Attack of the Clones and then promptly feel asleep 20 minutes before the end!  It is all rather confusing this Star Wars thing, hence me watching it in the right order.  Thai Green Curry made; mine with tofu his Lordship's with chicken and it was rather delicious even if I say so myself.  As for the rest of the 'live it up Saturday in London' we watched dear old Freddie and Queen in concert. Love him. Dear Freddie. Well I am the self acclaimed Queen of the Gays!

Jack (the Lad formally know as Grayson) will be happy as I have just heard that Arsenal have beaten Preston 2-1 and the lovely, drop dead gorgeous Olivier Giroud scored in the last minute. Many of you may know, I like a bit of football and I am a sucker for a foreign accent - remember the lovely Jose!  Anyway, Olivier Giroud caught my eye a few months ago and is very easy on it.  I think Match of the Day will be rather entertaining this evening girls. Note to self: get Pepe Le Pew to teach me some French that may come in handy if I ever get to meet Monsieur Giroud ..................... sigh! 

Sunday:  My friend Sarah who is now in Australia has given me the wonderful news that January 17 is the most depressing day of the year.  Yep, thanks for that Sarah. It is because it is a month virtually after Christmas, slap bang in the month and not near payday and credit card statements arriving! Joy oh joy. London today was grey and damp which summed it all up a treat. I left the house then realised I had no umbrella and no glasses.  Made my way to Trews and there were only a few of us there so I did not hang around. Back home for some lunch and then household chores.  Sigh.  It has been a rare, quiet weekend really.  I wish it was last Sunday as that was brilliant.  Decided to torture myself further (no I did not rip off another toe nail) and check my bank statement.  Surprisingly, it is not to bad but then I am not so good at maths.

One of the few good things about winter is Sunday Lunch or Dinner in this case. We cooked ourselves a cracking Sunday Lunch/Dinner (even if we say so ourselves) and had at least our eight a day in veggies.  Tonight I booked myself into something I have always wanted to do.  You know what I am like; new experiences and just go for it attitude.  I will not say anything now as more will be revealed on Tuesday but needless to say I will be having and taking part in a whole new experience.  Exciting stuff!

As always, with my love x

  

And it's hard to love, there's so much to hate Hanging on to hope When there is no hope to speak of And the wounded skies above say it's much too late Well maybe we should all be praying for time (Praying For Time- George Michael)

Yet another George classic.  The rich declare themselves poor and the rest of us are not sure ...... how true is that in today's world? Beautiful, meaning lyrics, sung with emotion and pain. Priceless.  Thank you George.

Tuesday:  Well I am feeling the love for so many things at the moment, but this morning was not one of them.  London was very cold and frosty and gave me nothing to make me drag myself out of bed. Fortunately, I was working from home today and that is mainly where I stayed. Well until the evening when I had lost the ability to walk and really had to think about it as I wrapped up warm and went to the supermarket to buy up everything that was green! Happy New Year.

Wednesday:  Busy day today, saving the world.  However, I did find a bargain, well it found me. I was walking past a charity shop and saw a brand new Peppa Pig toy in the window. It is Peppa Pig Princess.  Not too many details here, but this is hysterically funny and so I had to purchase it.  However, I do not think I will be keeping it.

Tonight I went to the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden to see The Nutcracker.  I will not lie, I really was not bothered about going. I think it is that post-Christmas thing.  The one where you want to be 7lbs lighter and not feel like Amy Winehouse in rehab.  I have had no alcohol, chocolate, bread or ....... well you fill the gap, for two days now. I am withdrawing which makes me a miserable moo.  Needless to say off I went and I was so glad that I did.  I had an amazing seat with a great view of the stage and was totally memorised by the performance.  The music was so lovely as there were so many pieces I recognised but the dancing; wow.  The elegance and strength in their bodies to be able to jump and lift so gracefully.  However, I did say to Andy that he needs to get himself a ballet dancer because I was a fair way from the stage but I am not sure what they had packed down their trousers. Andy said perhaps we could start with him just getting a man!

I was like a child in a sweet shop.  I did not move, well only to lean nearer and nearer to the stage as I was drawn into the whole performance. Truly magical. It only took me 20 minutes to get home (how good is that) and I said to Andy do you think it is too late for me to be a ballerina.  I will let you file your own response to that question.

Thursday:  New passport arrived today! How quick was that.  I promptly burst into tears and had a total wobble. I think it was because it was the last thing to

change. My whole identity.  Silly I know, but I felt as if I had cut the last string to Megan.  I know this is not true, but hey we cannot help how we feel. So took me a while to compose my self but it is done and it is for the best.  I am now, well I am now just me and that is OK.

Highlight of the day, well in fact the week, the Tesco order arrived ........ sigh!  London living at it's best.  

Friday:  Nope, still not feeling the love and I am not alone.  I have not found anyone yet who seems to be functioning in a positive way.  I finally, and I mean finally, dragged myself into the office for a meeting.  Before I went I had to get caffeine and found a really lovely Italian Deli near to where I needed to be.  I rolled up and ordered a large Americano (my usual) and when I left the woman who had served me said 'Have a nice weekend young lady and be naughty!'.  It made me laugh.  I told her that I had been naughty (in more ways than one) throughout the Christmas holiday and she said so had she.  We did laugh. You know me I collect people.  I told Jack (the lad the bloke formally known as Grayson) this and I don't think he had a clue what I was on about.  But as many of you know who actually read this; yep I collect people.  Meeting went well, really well and it was good to touch base with some lovely people again. I will work out of this office more I think.

Late finish then finally home and I had a man in my room! Andy had to come into my room, something he does not relish and sit on my bed for an hour as we were watching No Offence on Four on Demand. So funny and definitely our kind of human.  He managed to escape and then it was time to sleep. All good my friends, all good. 

As always, with my love x