Sunday 19 February 2017

Walk in silence, Don't walk away, in silence. See the danger, Always danger, Endless talking, Life rebuilding, Don't walk away. Walk in silence, Don't turn away, in silence. Your confusion, My illusion, Worn like a mask of self-hate, Confronts and then dies (Atmosphere - Joy Division)


I had forgotten all about this haunting song.  That is the good thing about featuring an artist each month, it makes you listen to tracks that you would never have perhaps listen too.  So many lines I could have used too to sum up how I am feeling, my mood.  But here we go, as always enjoy.




Monday:  I have four days in front of me that I, like the SAS, need to get in, get it done and get out again.  The first day did not go well but Andy called into Sainsbury's on the way home and we had a treat of Sticky Toffee Pudding and custard. We sat and watched Beautiful People and laughed and laughed.  It is funny when I first watched this programme, back in 2007 with Meg that I would have no idea that the line they use in every episode would come true ... 'one day we will move to London and live amongst the beautiful people'.


Tuesday:  26 years ago my dear old Dad passed away.  St Valentine's Day; a great day to die.  All that love, all those flowers.  Day two of my difficult week. Art class tonight.  I am still crap; but perhaps just a little bit better but I am not waiting for the Royal Academy to contact me.  The good thing is, the time flies by and it took my mind off all the thoughts that have been racing lately.  It gives me time to just unwind and chill. Andy, love him, waits in sheer anticipation to look at my 'efforts' and always have something positive to say about them.  Let's face it, they are crap.  But like everything else that is crap in my life, it is my crap!


Wednesday:  It has been difficult to write this blog this week. In fact, today is now Sunday and it is not much better, plus I am actually failing to remember what I did on Wednesday.  Needless to say, I don't think it was anything exciting.  Oh yes, I went to the Osteopath (thank goodness for my schedule). My final session and this has been money worth spending. That woman is a miracle worker, I told her so too.  Like most people I end up meeting, we chatted away like we had known each other for years.  I think this is where the whole on-line dating thing fails me. People see my profile, see I am not a perfect 10, make a judgement and move on ..... next. Where in real life, I think I am OK and can hold my own. Anyway, that aside, no more trips to Bethnal Green and no more osteopath ..... well fingers crossed.

Thursday:  Today is (was) my Friday. Two really positive and successful meetings and I cannot tell you how excited I was to be having Friday off.  It has been a long and difficult week, but the girl survived.

Friday:  Bit of a lie in, because I could, then the hairdresser arrived to cover up my grey.  We had a good old natter about non-recent events.  Hairdressers really are cheap psychologists.  After lunch I caught the bus up to Waterloo Bridge (a free ride because the Oyster Card reader was not working; don't you just love that) and then got off and decided to walk to Euston.  And so I did.  It was a lovely afternoon.


I met my friend Ian at Euston station and we made our way down to Belgo on Kingsway, where he had fish and chips and I had mussels and frites and he was happy as they had some good beers there for him to choose from.  We chatted away and I just loved hearing about his recent trip to India.  It just makes me want to go there even more now.  So we chatted away then walked down to Waterloo to the Waterloo Tap, where they sell even more craft beer.  I had half a pint of something that resembled a urine sample I would take to the doctors if I thought I had a water infection, but it was OK. We said our goodbyes and I made sure Ian was on the right bus to his hotel.  It is lovely how we often meet up when he is in town.  We were saying that we only know each other through the Meet Up group in Stoke and now have become (well I think so) good friends.  Thank you Ian, I had a lovely evening and thank you for taking time out of your schedule when you are in London to spend some time with me.


As always, with my love x

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